So here we are the week before Valentine’s Day although it feels as if the stores have been swelling with roses, chocolates and red hearts since New Year’s. Personally I like to wait to purchase anything holiday related until after the big day when candy prices drop 70%. Not necessarily for the cost savings but primarily as all candy bought ahead for any big holiday will be consumed by nightfall. Don’t judge me, you visions of self restraint!
Truth be told I’m not a fan of this particular upcoming holiday. Valentine’s Day is honestly an eye rolling experience for me – even now, married to the right guy. However the day of love is a no go for me mostly because I was perpetually single through my college years making Cupid’s stupid day of love a total buzzkill. It didn’t help that my sorority house’s chapter room was covered in a sea of roses from admirers every February 14 from sunup to sundown. Each year I held my breath hoping maybe one of those beautiful bouquets might be for me. A secret admirer dashes in stage left before the sun sets. But a fairytale ending wasn’t part of my story then.
Flash forward to post college career years where us singles reveled in Carrie-Samantha-Charlotte-Miranda girl power man free relationships 364 days of the year. Yet try as we might I can’t tell you how many wedding proposals happened in our circle on VD. Sorry, Valentine’s Day. Not venereal disease. My bad. Still slightly bitter perhaps?
February 14th felt like a spotlight shined right on my single-hood. My ineffectiveness to couple. My repelling nature to the other sex. What? That’s crazy talk. Yes, I was aware of the spiraling snowball of insecurities quick to pile on with one “rejection” by the gods of love. Where was my soulmate? When would my true love arrive? How did everyone else have a date for Valentine’s dinner but me? Why is the Easter candy mixed in with the Valentine’s Day candy? So many questions.
Flash forward again a few years later and I’m one half of a legal union, but now what I thought guaranteed happiness only cast the spotlight on the gaping holes in my verbally abusive marriage. Truly the opposite of a union. Now I understood how some of the loneliest girls wear wedding rings because I was one. So the day after Valentine’s Day just proved chocolates, flowers and promises to treat me better were nothing but swag and empty words written on an overpriced Hallmark card.
So if today, in this commercialized month of love, you are a reluctant single or a lonely married please do not let the roses and chocolate define your worth. Don’t allow marketing to trick you into thinking you will forever be alone or you are doomed for love. Your value is not set based on what you receive just one day of the year. Your value was determined thousands of years ago before you were ever created when God decided in all of this vast universe He would design a “you” to make it complete. Way before chocolate was even invented you were needed.
God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that he has plans for us, “plans to give you hope and a future.” I would read that verse over and over claiming it as my personal message from the one that gave us unconditional love – despite the hot mess I was. And despite the hot mess I still am.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son.” In John 3:16 it is stressed that He “so loved” the world – you can’t love it much more than that. To give a child? Unfathomable. To carve plans for you before you were born? To be willing to die for you even if you turn your back on Him? Truly astonishing.
He loved you so much because you are worthy, special and His. No matter what your couple status is or isn’t, rest assured that even if you are lonely you are never alone. Even if your heart is broken, it’s still beating. May this un-holiday holiday bring you joy, peace, deep belly laughs and belief to your core that you are enough just the way you are. In fact, you were enough before you were even born. And that right there is something truly awesome to love.