On debating the Tooth Fairy with my husband:
My oldest lost his 3rd baby tooth and left a sweet note asking the Tooth Fairy her name.
My realist engineer hubby brings up the “lying to your children” angle by me drafting a response from “Lucy” the possibly British Tooth Fairy based upon her use of charming words like “splendid” and “brilliant” to describe his clean teeth.
(Yes, I used the letter as a bit of propaganda to encourage dental hygiene so there. Judge away. I dare you.)
I fire back to the hubs it’s Americana Folklore, part of letting children be children, sort of like Johnny Appleseed allegedly planting apple trees throughout America.
Hubby: Yeah, actually he was real. It’s not alleged.
Me: Seriously you think he managed to walk all over the country with a dumb pot on his head and just happen to have success growing trees everywhere?
Hubby: You do know apple trees aren’t indigenous in the vast majority of places he spread the seeds, right?
Me: OK whatever.
Pause for about 7 seconds as I build my next argument.
Me: Alright, how about the Tooth Fairy is akin to George Washington in how we tell our kids “He didn’t tell a lie” or that Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin.
Husband: Yeah, so he was really born in a log cabin. Remember I was born in Illinois. It’s kind of a legit thing there.
Me: OK whatever, I’m obviously not having a conversation with a person of high creativity and whimsy.
Husband: OK whatever, I’m obviously having a conversation with an idiot.
Alright so he didn’t say that outloud, but he didn’t have to. I could totally read it in his body language. I’m sort of an expert on thinking I know what others are thinking. And by “expert” I mean a drama queen, worst case scenario, over thinking, negative nelly, make a mountain out of molehill. Sort of.
So I gave my hubby the side eye all night for being a dream killer and using facts in my emotionally charged argument. It was difficult for him to see my mean side eye look as he watched the football game all night, but I persevered!
Then about three hours later I randomly shout out to nobody:
Me: George Washington probably lied about the Tooth Fairy when he got his wooden teeth so there!
Then I remember my hubby telling me after taking a tour of Mt. Vernon last year George’s teeth weren’t wooden at all.
Dangit he wins again! And he’s not even in the room!!!
I went to bed huffy and said “goodnight” in my “I don’t really mean it, but I’m saying it because Momma raised me with good manners” voice.
I’m sure he could interpret the disappointment of my goodnight bidding, however he did fall asleep really fast for being in an imaginary battle of wits with me come to think of it.
Regardless I think we can all see I was totally in the right, right????
At least Mars and Venus are both planets and have that in common.
I need chocolate.