The other day I read a friend’s Facebook post and had to laugh:
“Thank you New Year’s Resolutions. It was fun while it lasted.”
This was only 3 days in friends.
Why do we do this to ourselves? A list that exceeds our bandwidth. A hard to reach goals with no grace. An unattainable vision.
And it’s not just a New Year’s thing. Every single day upon waking I convince myself that today is the day where I will get it right. Where I will be the vision of Donna Reed greeting all I encounter in fashionable ladylike gentleness. That my reality will in fact match the perfection of my Pinterest boards. Yet by the time my hot tea steeps, I’ve blown it.
A snap at my child dragging his feet to get ready for school. A sharp text to my husband about something he overlooked before leaving for work. A not so nice thought about another’s Facebook status followed by a judgmental eye roll. Blown it. Again.
Why do I treat the first few minutes of each morning like it’s the ball dropping in Times Square, only to disappoint because the high standards could never be achieved in the first place? Add in a negative reading on the scale or burnt toast and I just want to crawl back into bed. Heck, I post on my blog all the time to the world that the woman running this household is in fact a hot mess.
So no I don’t have the key to success in perfect parenting. Near as I can tell there’s no formula for an easy journey – especially with little ones underfoot. But being every momma I’ve encountered this week already seems worn out by 2017 just a few days in, I’d dare say the pressure we are feeling is real. And in some ways it is self-created.
The image of nailing it, the goal of domestic bliss, the vision of serene mothering as our tribe gathers in peace and harmony. Fantasyland only exists at Disneyworld friends. Life is not a Hallmark commercial. But it is made up of Hallmark moments separated by some pretty stressful and sometimes messy moments.
So to the new momma. The struggling wife. The stressed working mom. The frazzled stay at home mom. The overlooked daughter. The forgotten sister. Hang in there and know you are not alone. We are all mostly guessing at how we do this thing called life. Some of us are just better at faking it out in public.
Our hope for a successful outcome is sometimes no more than a wish and a prayer plus a lot of hand sanitizer, kisses on our sleeping children, hiding in the bathroom for a few sacred minutes alone and count downs until bedtime. And yes, count downs are allowed to start before breakfast.
Let’s find our purpose this year, our joy, even our 3 minutes of solitude in the bathroom on a regular basis. It’s small victories friends. And if you must think each morning is another January 1st to get right, then have that vision of Times Square as the party our life is meant to be. Without randomly kissing drunk strangers of course. Set the bar low friends and you’ll never be disappointed.
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